WHAT????

Mom was off for over a month...almost two actually. She actually had the NERVE to go back to work and lock Lavy and I in jail crates. She is a bad mom. Someone needs to alert the ASPCA, HSUS, PETA, IRS, CIA, FBI....any will do...JUST HELP ME!

So we accidently got out of our crates the other day and did a little redecorating...we cant help it. Lavy and I have a different idea than mom on how the house should look...we were just trying to help is all. She should have been GRATEFUL! Some people...There is just no pleasing them.

I am really not liking other dogs at all these days. They just run up into my face and it scares me. Mom is trying to help me to like new dogs again, but its hard for me. I want to please her, but I dont really want to be friends with anyone new. I have Lavy (though replacing her with some cute German Shepard would be FINE by me) and my cousins (Auntie Michelle's "kids"), what do I need more friends for?

Because Lavy MADE me help her redecorate the house, I have a feeling that Santa Paws it going to pass RIGHT over our house...if that happens I am SOOO going to get her. No kidding.

Well...I should really get back to writing my letters about the abuse that takes place in this house. It is truly distrubing.

Woof. Woof.
Ollie The Beaten

Its hard work - Ollie's Training Tips Volume #1

Because mom is a dog trainer, I have to work for my food. And let me tell you, its not easy.

So from a dogs perspective, let me tell you some things about "dog" training....

1. Be patient. We dont know what you want. Remember that you are speaking gibberish to us and until you show me what you want, I dont know what it is that you are telling me. Us pups dont come out preprogrammed with commands.

2. Help us. If we dont get it and stare at you blankly, help us. Sometimes we forget what we have already learned and we need you to be patient and for you to show us again. Us pups are silly that way. Seriously.

3. Feed us. The easiest way for us to do what you want is with bribery (aka food). Ever hear the saying "Will work for food"? Well, us dogs live and DIE by that saying. Sometimes we need really good food like steak. Scratch that, we ALWAYS need really good food...so always feed us steak.

4. Praise us. I personally love when mom talks to me in that squeeky high pitched voice...I forget myself as a mutt-ure young man and practically flip myself inside out. You should see Lavy when mom talks to her like that, its embarrasing. Seriously.

So those are the basics....stay tuned for more helpful tips from a dogs point of view...its about time someone set humans straight, I think that I am the dog for the job!! Besides Lavy is much too young and inexperienced (never mind the fact that she is a stupid girl).

Woof. Woof.

Professor Oliver P. Twist

Catching up...

In case you didnt know, I live in Wisconsin. Do you know what that means? It means that it is COLD here. It also means that I have to wear jackets to keep warm. Which normally wouldnt be a problem because, after all, I have a good mom. She keeps Lav and I in nice warm jackets.

However, Lavender would be the problem. She keeps destroying my jackets. First she chewed a hole in a my warm fleecy one, then she chewed my black winter jacket right OFF of me. I mean, seriously, I dont mess with her jackets. I may start though. Damn girl.

Mom has been home alot. I like it, though when she leaves I get really sad. Primarly because I get put in jail my house.

Mom also made it so that I have my own jail house in the truck. That I really like, because I dont like share with Lavender all the time.

Well thats all for now...going to find something of Lavy's to wreck.

Grounded

I have been grounded. Shocking, I know.

I wasnt even that bad...ALL I did was help Lavy chew buttons off moms blazer and then got caught watching Lavy tear the comforter to shreds. Lavy convinced mom that I was in on the whole thing, so we both got grounded.

See....more proof that sisters are BAD.

Its been a good two weeks though, because mom has been home and spending a lot of time with us. Thats about to change, cause she found a new job...better paying too, so you know what that means? MORE TREATS FOR ME! Treats are gooo-oooo-oooood!

I am kind of glad that mom is going back to work though, because then I get to use the computer again...she has kind of been a computer hog all this time.

I have to find a way to conspire with my friendly Riley on how to escape, because apparently HIS parents want to get him a sister too...poor dog!

Woof. Woof.
Ollie Pants

Made it!

It was a very eventful weekend.

First - Mom adopted Lavender on Friday. VERY upsetting news. I will live. hopefully. Then I got to spend the evening at Auntie Michelle's house. It was so much fun to play with all my friends. It was hard to settle down, but I finally managed.

Then - I rode in a truck in a crate with Lavender for 10 hours. TEN HOURS. Mom and Auntie Michelle were taking us to a dog auction. At first I was afraid that she was going to sell me, but then I was *hoping* that she was going to sell Lavender. Neither happened. Though every time mom came to the truck, I would try to push Lav out. Lav and I did get on TV, but mom was NOT happy about that. Apparently they portrayed us as coming from the auction and as puppy-mill dogs. Mom took care of them and the video is no longer available. I was thinking about getting an agent...apparently THAT wont be happening now. THANKS, mom!

Lastly - We stayed at Auntie Michelle's Saturday night. We were all pretty tired and mom was asleep before I was. But she burns out easy. We went over to Auntie Polly's on Sunday. We sat in the truck. Why does mom think it is fun for us to just sit in the truck all day??? I think I am going to take her somewhere and leave HER in the truck. Bet she wouldn't like that one bit.

Finally - Dad came over to drop some of moms stuff off last night. He threw my frisbee for me a few times. Then he knelt down told me goodbye and told me to be a good boy for momma. He looked sad. I don't think I am going to see him again. Mom was crying. I don't like when mom cries....no. I. don't.

Well, that's all I got....at least I made it home from the auction and didn't up being sold. That would have been VERY bad.

Off to plot ways to loose Lavendy.

Woof. Woof.
Ollie Miester

Outta HERE

It’s official.

Lavender is staying.

I am leaving. Packing my bags and I am OUTTA here. Not sure where I should go. Maybe I will just travel around for a while, living off my trust fund, bum around Europe (where exactly IS Europe?)…kinda like Snoopy. I will probably go to California for a while and be a surfer dude, plus I probably won’t have to wear jackets out there to keep warm.

Do you think I can walk there? Can’t be that far. Right?

Okay, maybe I will stay. I really like my mom; she is good to me and loves me up all the time. Plus she might be a little sad if I were to leave. But Lavender. Sigh. The things that a dog has to deal with, it really is too much sometimes. Truly.

Mom says that she is “paying” for Lav on Friday. Maybe I will steal her wallet then she won’t have any money to pay for her. Where do you think she keeps her wallet? In that brown bag thing she carries around. Sometimes that thing slips of her shoulder and bangs me in the head when she is walking me. I don’t like that. I may have to chew it up.

I guess I am resigned to having a little sister. I suppose that is okay. I like to snuggle with her in the crate and she is fun to play with. When she gets annoying, I will just tell mom to put her away. That sounds kinda menacing doesn’t it? Not my intention at all. Nope. Not. at. all.

Mom is such a softy. Could someone PLEASE tell Auntie Michelle that mom CANNOT take any more “fosters” because they just end up being “permanents”. Seriously. We are CLOSED.

I am going to need therapy.

Off to plot how to sell Lavy. Any ideas????

Woof. Woof.

Ollie the big brother (not by choice)

Presents!

Mom was gone all day yesterday, but I think she went somewhere good AND I think that it involved dog stuff. Actually I am fairly certain it involved dog stuff.

Mom had Dad come over and let us out in the afternoon, it was good to see Dad. I don’t get to see him much anymore. I think I am from a broken home. I may need therapy.

When Mom got home she had bags and bags of stuff. I went mad sniffing them all, because I KNEW that there had to be presents in them for me. At first I was just glad to have mom home, but then I wanted to know what was in the bags.

As she unpacked each item, I sniffed inspected them. I don’t think mom really saw the need for my help or appreciated it. She kept pushing me away and telling me to get, but I wanted to make sure nothing got by me everything was safe.

I did get some presents though. A gay really cool polar fleece jacket. A Frisbee and a DVD to help mom throw a Frisbee without being a dork in a professional manner. Lots and lots of food that I gladly will not share with Lavy.

On another note, I am going to go back to some hard core training. I have been kind of bad with other dogs lately and that makes mom really sad. Both Auntie Michelle and Mom are worried that if I don’t straighten up soon, they may have to send me to the bridge. I am not ready to go visit Uncle Elmo yet, so I am going to work really hard with mom to be a better dog.

Sorry it is has been so long since I blogged...I’m a busy guy.

Love ya!
Woof. Woof.
Ollie Miester

Its gotta end...

Mom has to do some thing about Lavy and she needs to do it NOW!

This morning mom took Lavy and I out for the usual potty stop before our days in the jail cells crates. We ran around a little bit, and then I had to stop and take a poo. All of the sudden, Lavy runs up, grabs my leash and tries to drag me away…I wasn’t even FINISHED yet. Mom was laughing so hard, she was crying. A lot of help she is!

I mean COME ONE…I can’t even POOP in peace???? Sheesh!!!! Do you need anymore proof that girls are stupid???? I think not.

When we go out when mom gets home at the end of the day mom gives us tennis balls to play with. I get the yellow one, Lav gets the red one. Easy to remember, right? APPARENTLY NOT! Lavy ALWAYS tries to steal my ball…it’s MY ball. Does mom do anything about it????? NOOOOOO!!!! More examples of how girls are stupid, Mom not included.

I may have to pack up my things and move to California to be with my Grandparents and Auntie. I know that they would treat me much better never torment me.

I am going to go plot my escape trip from this hell hole wonderful place to California…do you think I will like it there?

Woof. Woof.

Ollie the Vagabond.

Weekend catch ups....

Mom took Lavender and I to the Elmbrook Humane Society Wag Walk. That’s were both of us came from. Mom was hoping to get an application on Lavender, but no such luck.

We talked to a pet psychic. She didn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know. She said that Lavy is not sure if she is staying or not because mom won’t make up her mind. She also said that Lavy is really forward and brave. All very very true statements.

She even talked about me. She said that I am very silly and love attention. She said that I love to be with mom and can’t stand for her to be out of my site when we are at events. Also very true statements.

I was in a couple of contests. The first one was the tallest dog. Which I had BY A MILE…but they gave it to a different dog because he was fatter…SO not fair. However, I did win the best trick contest. I made “deals” with mom. Instead of giving paw, I make “deals”. If mom wants my left paw she says “Make a Deal”, if she wants my right paw she says “seal the deal” and if she wants both paws she says “Double the deal”. I also took a bow. Apparently it was all very good and cute, because I won. I got a great big treat that mom has not let me have yet.

My friend Riley was at the event too. Mom trains his people how to be good dog parents. For some reason they really like mom, I just can’t figure out why. It was fun to see Riley out of work…we had a nice chat.

Mom took us swimming in the lake afterwards to cool off, that was loads of fun. Though Lavy bit my tennis ball in half and it sunk. OF COURSE she didn’t wreck HERS, only mine! Why do girls have to be so mean??? Seriously!!!

Lavy and I were both really tired after the event and slept the afternoon away with mom, but then she made us go back out to a street fair. It was too crowded so we went to a doggy event, but it was over by the time we got there. That was okay…I was tired of walking any ways.

On another note…I am back in a crate today and I am NOT happy about it. But I got myself in trouble because the cops came and talked to mom Sunday morning. It seems I was barking talking too loudly on Monday morning. Someone had to call and tell on me…that is NOT very nice at all. That’s okay because my neighbor dog got in trouble too!!! At least mom only got a warning this time. She seems to think that if I am in my crate I won’t want to bark as much…I guess I should just be a good dog and keep my yap SHUT!

I am going to read the newspaper now.

Woof. Woof.

Ollie Pants

Random...

Mom has kept me so busy the last couple of days that I haven’t had time to blog. She doesn’t give me a moments rest. Women.

It has also been raining here like it is Seattle, though I have never been to Seattle, but that’s what I have been told. It was sunny yesterday though, which was good because I was getting depressed from all the rain. The depression was causing me to destroy things in the house and that makes mom sad.

I heard mom tell Auntie Michelle that she wants to pick up a crate from the shelter this weekend. I think she is going to put me back in a house. I will be ready with my lock picking kit and digging implements should this happen. I have had a taste of freedom; I CAN NOT be JAILED again. Do you know what that will do to me???

We are going to the Elmbrook Humane Society Wag Walk tomorrow. I believe that I am going to be forced to work. Isn’t that considered slave labor or something???? I think mom should be turned into work force development. Wait…that may be bad, because then I would have to go into foster care and I would be an indigent child…never know what kind of home you will end up in. I could end up like poor abused neglected Lavy (yes, she is still here, I don’t want to talk about it).

Ooh, while we are on the subject of Lavy. Do you know that when we go to work with mom, she makes us SHARE a CRATE! Not only AT work, BUT in the CAR (did you know that mom makes me ride in a crate in the car now???? Oooh, you don’t…see more ABUSE!)!!!!!!!! ABUSE!!!! ABUSE!!!! I know for a FACT that work (Petco) has more crates, mom already uses one, I am SURE they would let her use another one. I have no IDEA why she must subject me to such torture.

Ahh….blogs are so healing…I feel so much better.

Off to find something of my mean mothers to destroy.

Woof. Woof.

Ollie the Destructo dog xo

Loose

I don’t know if I should blog about this or not, because mom may not realize what she is doing and if she reads my blog…I may rat myself out.

Okay, I will tell you….but you have to promise to not let mom see, okay???

I have been LOOSE for the past two days!!!! Meaning that mom hasn’t put me in my crate AT ALL! In fact, my crate isn’t even in the house anymore…it’s in the truck.

I am not sure if I like being out of my crate or not. I was pretty nervous yesterday, not sure what I should do with myself. I walked around. Watched some TV, surfed the internet, tore up a paper cup and napped. The only nice thing is that I can stretch out and nap where I want to now. My crate was getting pretty cramped because I am so big. Mom needs to get me a bigger one, but she says the money tree has died in the back yard.

The first time mom left me out of my crate a few weeks ago, it was only for a few minutes and my crate was still in the house. When she left I wasn’t sure what to do with myself AND I was afraid that I would get in trouble…so I just went and lay down in my crate. I wouldn’t even go out of the crate when I heard mom come in. I waited for her to come get me, just like I always do. She LAUGHED at me…can you believe it???? I was just being a good dog. SHEESH! Some people.

I am loose again today. I like it better today…I think I can get used to this. Hopefully she won’t realize her mistake and put me back in my crate, I like to be loose.

Alright…this is just our little secret, right?

PHEW!

Phew! What a weekend.

On Saturday we went to the herding dog trial. I didn’t do the herding instinct test because I am NOT a herding dog. Plus mom figured out pretty quickly that the sheep would have FREAKED me out. Lavy got to go up and watch some of the trail (spoiled bitch (that’s what they call female dogs…just using correct terminology is all)) and she got barky, so she had to come back to the truck with Pony where Willow, Zahra, Ashes and I were waiting.

Mom was going to take me over to watch the novice trail. BOY am I glad she DIDN’T. Turns out that there was no fence between the sheep and the spectators…that would have been SCAREY! With a capital SCARE! I would have been scarred for life. FOR LIFE!

The low point of the trip…having to share a crate with Lavy in the truck…she is a HOG! Sometimes I would lay on her to get her to move. Even that didn’t work most of the time. Stupid girl. Doesn’t she know that she has cooties?

On Sunday we went hiking. Auntie Michelle got us lost…so she is NOT allowed to navigate any more. I got to stand up and drink out of a bubbler like a person, because I am a very smart dog. Mom tried to get a picture, but she wasn’t fast enough. Hiking was fun, but it was 4 hours and I am NOT used to walking that far. My idea of a hike is walking to McDonalds!

I didn’t feel very good on Monday, so I didn’t get to go with Mom, Dad and Tyler (my boy, dads human son) to a walking street fair. Plus I was really tired from the weekend, so I was glad they left me home. It rained on them and that would NOT have made me happy.

I am still recovering…so I have to go rest some more.

Woof. Woof.

Ollie The Indoor Dog

I'm Leaving....in a red explorer....

I am going on my first trip with mom and Auntie Michelle. I am soooo excited. Unfortunately Lavy gets to come along, but I guess it wouldn’t be fair to leave her home with dad.

I don’t know what I should pack. Of course my bowl and food, those are necessities! I think I will bring a couple of bones and a nice soft blankie to lay on. I don’t know what the weather is going to be like, I heard rain, so I better bring my rain jacket and mom better get one for Lav or she is going to be cold and wet (not that I would care).

I wonder if I will need any dress jackets or a top hat. Though I don’t think we are going any where fancy. Just hiking and watching a herding dog trial. Mom says that maybe I will get to try the herding and see if I have any instinct for it. That should be fun, though I am a little afraid of sheep. Plus I don’t think I have a herding bone in my body…chasing and fetching yes, so unless I can bring a sheep back to mom, I don’t think this going to work that well.

We will be gone and without internet until Sunday. I will update as soon as I can and hopefully with pictures. Though, I have to admit Lavy and I ate the cord that lets mom upload pics from the digital camera to the computer. Ooops. It was all Lavy’s idea…she MADE me do it. See, I TOLD you girls were bad news!!!

Time to go sleep while mom packs!

Woof. Woof.

Ollie the great outdoors dog

Odds N Ends

The question mom gets asked most the about me is “what is he?” Don’t they know I am a dog????

Okay, so they want to know what BREED of dog I am and that is a tricky question. I did that on purpose you know.

Mom says that I am a Great American Boxer. Basically she says that I am a Great Dane (because I am so tall), American Bull Dog (because of my jowels and head shape) and Boxer (because of my coloring and wigglyness) mix. She also says that I have some pit-bull, but we don’t tell many people that because they get scared. However, I am a very good dog.

I personally think mom should tell them that I am a maltese or something like that and see what they say. Just to mess with their heads.

Lavender was supposed to go meet new people tomorrow, but that has fallen through. They would be first time dog owners and Lavy would NOT be good for them. Mom is very experienced and there are days that SHE wants to hang Lavy by her ears.

Did I tell you that I hate that Lav sleeps on the bed with us? Yup. I hate it.

Its also very cold here, in the 60’s. For me that’s COLD!!! I need a fall jacket, I will have to get mom to work on that. She left me OUTSIDE (ooh the indignity of it) in a kennel while she was training last night, I was FREEZING!!!!

Off to go nap.

Woof. Woof.

Ollie Pants

Lies

Remember how I told you that Lavender found a new home? Well, it was all a lie. I am very upset with Mom. Here I was ready to party on Monday, I had the caterers lined up and everything…but NOOOOOO, mom and Auntie Michelle had to go and deny the application just because they gave some dogs away (okay 6…is that a lot?). Don’t they know I lost the deposit??? SHEESH!

Alright, so I agree it wouldn’t be very nice to hop from home to home to home and I know that Lavy is safe here with us….I just want mom to myself again!!! Lavy doesn’t share mom well, except if she is chewing a bone…then I can spend time with mom.

Mom is STILL letting Lavy sleep on the bed with us…someone needs to tell Mom that its MY bed and that little turd should NOT be sleeping with us. Plus girls are stupid, but not mom (at least I don’t tell her and I think she reads my blog, so I don’t want to get into trouble).

I am going away with mom, Auntie Michelle, all her dogs and Lavy this weekend. We are going to go watch herding trials and go hiking. Mom and I aren’t the hiking types…so this should be interesting. I am very excited about watching the herding trials though; I bet I could do it BETTER than any of those other “herding” dogs. But I think I am afraid of sheep. I am DEFINITELY afraid of ducks (sometimes they start new dogs on ducks) because they will peck my eyes out. Hmmmm…maybe I can loose Lavy while we are hiking…I will have to come up with a plan.

I don’t think I have any other news…

Going to go chew on my bone now.

Woof. Woof.
Ollie Pants xo

Catching up...

Phew. It has been a BUSY week for a being a dog. Mom seems to be monoplizing the computer, so I havent had much time to use it. I get impatient with her, but she is my mom so I guess I have to let her use the computer first.

Mom let Lavender sleep on the bed with us the last few days. I suppose its okay, though I dont really like it. I dont like it because it is MY bed...it is the one place that I get to spend AWAY from her...NOW she gets to share the bed....geez, mom is really pushing it!!! I may have to step on mom in her sleep...that will teach her.

We went to the shelter today. I got to spend time with Auntie Michelle's dogs, she has lots of dogs. My favorite is Willow, she is a 6 year old chocolate lab. I like to play with Ashes, but sometimes she gets mad at me and snaps (mean girl!), she is a chocolate lab too. Little Sister and Sirlena dont really play with me, they are australian shepards. Zara keeps Lavender in line, so of COURSE I like her, she is also an australian shepard. Then there is little Pony Boy, he is a border collie pupppy...I like him and he likes me, but he HATES Lavender because she is too pushy...smart boy. Wow, that was hard....I normally dont count that high.

While we were at the shelter, mom took Lavender away and I stayed in Auntie Michelle's office with my friends. Apparently some people came to meet Lavender to see if they want to take her home. They spent a lot of time with mom, Auntie Michelle and Lavender. I guess Lavender is going to a new home on Monday...her forever home, like the one that mom gave me. I am happy for her, but sad for mom. I dont like when mom cries and she is already crying over her leaving. Don't worry, I will take care of her. I promise. Monday is going to be a rough day for every body...even me. Yes, I still think girls are stupid...but she was fun to play with and I will miss Lavy. Mom says that I will get to see her and play with her still because her new parents will take classes with Mom.

I got EMAIL the other day. I LOVE email. Thank you Grandma Dottie and Grandpa Ted. Though I was a little suprised that you included Lavender, after all she is a stupid girl. I tried to make that bomb out of peanut butter, but I got distracted and ate it all. I guess thats what happens when you are a dog. Ooh and Lavender typically protects ME from the bad dogs...because she is so tough. Who knew that girls could be so tough??!!!

I have to go do what I do best now....nap.

Love you!
Woof! Woof!

Ollie caretaker of the Mom

Swimming...

Mom and Dad took Lavender and I swimming today. Not to a lake or a river...but to a PUBLIC POOL!!!! Yes, you read right a POOL! The park systems was having a fundraiser for the off leash dogs parks and your parents could take you swimming for $5 each. So, Mom and Dad took us.

Mom was nervous that there were going to be a lot of people there that were stupid and not understand doggy language...because we all know how well mom speaks it!

Anyway, we get there and mom lets us go. Lavender ran right for the pool and DOVE right in...to the DEEP end. She scared herself a little, but she pulled herself back out and came running over to where mom was talking to a nice lady.

Then she took me over to the pool, but I was afraid to go in, because I didnt know how deep it was. So, mom had to go in with me. She didnt have a swim suit on!!! So her pants and shirt got all wet! Silly, I told her she should have worn a swim suit. She doesnt listen...thinks she knows better. She doesnt.

Once mom was in the pool with me, I was fine....I went swimming with all the other dogs and had to share my tennis balls with a lab...that was okay, I didnt mind.

Lavender was the funniest to watch. She swam around like a little motor boat. Off into the deep end most of the time. Dad kept getting nervous and would call her back....I stayed pretty close to mom, she stayed in the pool with us the whole time.

We had such a good time swimming in the pool...I hope mom remembers to take us next year...because it was a blast.

OOH...and all the dog owners were good...no stupid people. I saw another dog that looked a lot like me. She didnt really like the water, but I told her that it was fun and to relax...I hope my advice helped!!!

Off to bed...

Woof Woof.
Ollie Luganus xo

Ps... sorry that I havent blogged in a while. Mom broke the computer. See...I told you girls were stupid.

More proof that sisters are trouble...

Here is a conversation between Lavender and I....

Mom had put Lavender into a bigger crate, to give her more room....and this is how Lav thanks mom! Nice, REAL nice!



Lavender: PSSSST!!! Ollie come over here and help me break out.
Ollie: NOOO WAY! I am not helping you, cause I will get into trouble.
L: Sissy. I will just do it myself. *plays with crate door*
O: Your going to get into trouble.
L: Nope. She will never know...they are sleeping right.
O: *walks over to mom* I think so. She didn't move when I nuzzled her, but she could be playing possum.
L: I'm FREE! Lets make a run for Ollie it.
O: Nope, I'm sleeping.
L: SISSY! *walks over to mom* *Jumps up and nuzzles at her*
Mom: Ollie quit. Go lay down.
L: *giggles* I did it! It worked!
Mom: *rolls over* HEY! How did you get out.
L: DAMNIT!
Mom: Back in your house you go. Little jail breaker.
L: Awwww MAN! Ollie help!!!!!
O: *sleeping* Cant, sorry.
L: *back in crate, tries door* Aww man, she locked it good this time. Now where did I put that spoon?

See...do you need ANYMORE proof???

Play Time

Yesterday mom and dad took Lavender and I too a big off leash dog park to run and play. Mom makes us walk in on a leash and Lavender has to drag a leash at the park because she doesn't listen very good (another example of how girls are stupid).

I don't like to be on a leash around other dogs and I get a little snappy when I am, but mom says its okay because I am just asking for my space. Other dog parents get mad though and mom has to explain dog behavior. GOOD thing I have taught my mom so well. I know Uncle Elmo helped train her too (I will tell you about him sometime, mom really loved him and I know she misses him).

I had a great time at the park, though I kept trying to steal frisbee's and mom kept yelling at me to "get out of that", but I didn't want too. After a while I did, but I didn't like it.

Lavender was pretty naughty. Mom says she is very forward and doesn't understand when other dogs tell her to back off...instead, she goes back for more. Dumb girl. She got beat up by a rottweiler, he ran her from end of the park to the other. I laughed at her. I just stayed by mom and dad...they are fun to hang out with. Plus it just makes me feel better to keep mom in my line of site. I want to make sure she is behaving...she can be very bad you know.

On another note....

I have decided that I need to do away with Lavender...I am not quite sure how to do it...but I have access to peanut butter and bones, Grandpa Ted, what can I do with that? Anything besides make her a snack??? Ooh, I could poison her...but wait, what if I get it on my paws, I know....I will wear gloves. I am so smart that I surprise even myself.

Ooh to plot my sisters death....

Woof Woof

Ollie the destroyer

Ps. Hi Grandma Dottie!

Playing and Swimming

Yesterday afternoon I got to go swimming with Lavender. It was just in a river that was fairly low, so it wasn't really swimming, it was more like wading.

There are two things that I love to do and I got to do both of them together yesterday. Swimming and fetch. There was a nice man that stood down in the river with us dogs (there were a lot of dogs playing with me, that was fun too) and threw the balls for us. Lavender would also beeline for the ball, but I would go for it in a round-a-bout fashion. That style ended up getting me the ball more often than Lavender. HAHA!

We left the park WAY too soon because mom had to teach other people how to be good parents too there dogs. I like when we get to go to these classes, because I get to show off. Sometimes I work a head of mom and don't wait for her to tell me what to do. I know that frustrates her, but I cant help it...I get excited. Plus I want to show her how smart I am.

Overall it was a very fun night. Except I had to share a crate with Lavender at school...could someone please tell mom that I don't like to share my crate with her? I need my own space, plus I don't like girl cooties. EEWW!

Off to rest...

woof. woof.
Ollie

Sisters, Blech.

Mom is a softy.

When Auntie Michelle called from the shelter that mom got me from and said that she needed some one to foster a 4 month old under weight malnourished pit bull pup that needed shots every day, she of course caved right in.

For the first 3 days I was MAD!!!! I wouldnt play with mom and when we went to bed, I would sleep on the other side, instead of up against her like I usually do. I got over it pretty quickly, because it is fun to have Lavender (thats the foster dogs name and my sister) to play with. Though sometimes she chews on my legs and I dont like that, so then I chew on her ears to get back at her.

Mom said she was only staying for a month....Hello, Mom...Its been OVER a MONTH! Mom keeps going back and forth about keeping her and making her my permanant sister. I guess it would be okay, but I really did like to be an only child. Though I am still very spoiled and I am the only one who gets to sleep on the bed with mom (HAHA Lavender!!!), Lavender has to sleep in her crate.

Lavender is pretty good for the most part, but it gets irritating when I am trying to go potty and she has to body slam me. Come ON! Cant I pee in peace???? Or when I am trying to just eat some grass and she has to grab my leash and try to drag me away. I teach her though, because then I take off and flip her over. I dragged her for a few feet yesterday, until mom told me to let go of the leash. Well, Lavender STARTED it AND she deserved it.

Plus, I am WAY smarter than Lav, because I am the one that does all the tricks at the demos!!! All she does is LAY there...dumb girl. She does get a lot of attention though, but thats because she is little and sort of cute. Then people see me and tell me how handsome I am and that I look like a tiger...they forget all about stupid Lavender.

Can someone please tell my mom that I really dont want a full time sister??? sigh. its hard being a dog.

Cya round!

woof. woof.

Ollie

Ps. See...I have proof she is mean to me...steals my bones AND chews on me. She's bad!

I'm a what?

Mom says that I am an "Ambassador To the Breed". What does that mean, I wonder?

Its funny that when I am out at demo's with my mom, I usually get two responses when mom tells them my breed. I am very exotic looking as you can see, and not many people can guess what I am off the tops of their heads (though they usually act like the knew after mom tells them, silly humans).

This is a typical conversation that mom will have with a person:
Person: What kind of dog is he?
Mom: American Bull Dog/Pit Bull Mix
Person: Is he mean?
Mom: No, he is very friendly. It is all in how they are raised and handled, nothing to do with the breed.

I don't get it. Am I supposed to be mean? Am I supposed to bite people? Especially little children, because you should see how many parents snatch their kids away from me. When ever mom says that I am very sweet, I always look at her with wondering eyes. Why do you say that Mom? Are they scared of me?

I don't get why people are afraid of me. I am somewhat big...but I am a gentle giant...really, I am. Sometimes when people ask if I am friendly I bark to say "YES! Wanna play?"

Mom says that people have change their minds about the breed because of me. Is that what makes me an ambassador? Do I get to wear a special vest or anything? Maybe a hat. I like hats.

So next time you see a pit bull or rottweiler, don't run in fear. Ask their owners about them and be educated....no one likes racism, even dogs. Just because I wear a certain kind of coat does not make me inherently mean. I am a good dog and they may be too.

Well, I need a nap now...

Woof. Woof.
Ambassador Ollie

Ps. The picture of me is doing my ambassador duties at The Wisconsin State Fair.

My handsome face

My mom keeps telling me that I have an Aunt and Grandma in California. I havent met them yet and I hear that they want to see pictures of me. I just learned how to blog, now they want pictures???? Sheesh, people...I am only a dog!

This is of me lying on the couch. Auntie Tewi says that I lie in really funny ways. I dont know WHAT she is talking about, this is comfortable. Can't you tell???

Actually its all my moms fault that I am lying like this, because I was lying one her and she got up. Definately all her fault.


I actually love to have my picture taken and I think I am pretty darn good at it. I practice in front of the mirror when Mom isnt looking...plus I want to make sure that my good side is captured when I take pictures...though, I dont really have a BAD side. At least no one has complained yet.

The last one is of me when I was a little baby. I was only about 12 weeks old here. I get very cold...so mom bought me a sweater. Dad thought it was a little girly, but I dont think so. Aren't I just the handsomest????

Frisbee's

I love to chase and catch frisbee's but I am really hard on them. I went through 4 today alone, I dont think that made mom very happy. I dont know why, Frisbee's just keeping magically appearing no matter how many I destroy. She must pick them off a tree.

I will admit that I am tough on frisbee's. I dont think it is me, I think it is the frisbee's fault. I like to chew them a little bit and I like to shake the floppy ones (thats the BEST!). I cant help if that weakens them, someone just needs to make one "ollie proof". At least thats what mom says. I personally have fun destroying the frisbees.

My dad (moms boyfriend Jamie) is really really good at throwing the frisbee's for me and I can usually get pretty good air. Mom, on the other hand, needs frisbee throwing lessons. I still run after them, but dad throws them better. Sometimes he tries to fake me out, but I already what he is up too...I just play along.

Today I got to play with FOUR frisbees at once....that was the best. Except I left one out in the field and mom kept telling to me to get my frisbee...well, I would go for the one at her feet and she would tell me to leave it. WHAT??!??!?! You just told me to get the frisbee!!! Then I realized that she wanted me to run all the way out and get the one that I left in the field...so, I humored her and went and got it.

Ooh, Lavender was there too...she just runs in cirlces with a tennis ball in her mouth. Girls are stupid. Then there were some kids playing across the field from us and she decided to run over and investigate. Mom was calling her, but she wasnt listening. Lavender got almost to the kids and for some reason she got scared. She starting barking at them, then turned and ran back towards mom, but she was still looking back, barking and running. She ran straight into mom. I laughed at her (so did mom, but dont tell Lavender, I dont want to hurt her feelings). See....I told you, girls are stupid.

My paws are tired from typing...I will update more tomorrow.

Woof. Woof.
Ollie

I'm Just a Dog

Finally. My mom let me get my own blog. Actually, she doesn't know about it....but what she doesn't know wont hurt her right? She leaves the lap top out and on all day, so I figured that someone should use it. Though it is a bit of a trick to get in and out of my crate with out her knowing.

On Wednesday I got to go the state fair with my mom and my sister Lavender (Lavender is the black dog in the pictures with me, Mom says that she is my "foster" sister, but I don't know what that means). Mom said it was to raise money for the shelter that saved me and gave me to mom. I am not sure what money is, after all I am a dog. We raised over $300 at final count, is that a lot? Mom seemed happy about it.

I got pretty tired at the fair though, because I had to wear that jacket with the pockets and every time some one would put paper in my coat (mom says its money, but is money really made out of paper???? I think she's crazy) I had to take a bow and say "thank you" (really, I just barked...but my mom can "think" I was saying thank you all she wants, I wont tell her any different). Let me tell you by the end of the day, my back was getting tired.

The best part of the day was when Lavender and I got to play in the ring. The people watched us and laughed. Every time I would grab my sisters leash, people would laugh at me. I guess that think its funny that I am trying to strangle her too. Good thing, cause I don't want to get into trouble. I like to show off for people and I kept an eye on mom to make sure that she wasn't leaving me. Plus I had to baby-sit Lavender and that's a hard job...she kept trying to climb out of the ring, so Mom had to watch her for me. She just doesn't listen...she is a bad kid.

My mom kept telling the story about how I came to live with her....do you want to hear it too??? Okay, I will tell you.

I lived with this guy and my brothers and sisters. One day he took me and my sister (not Lavender, my real sister) for a walk. These really nice girls came up to him and gave him some paper ($50) and we both got to go home with the girls. I went to a different house than my sister, so I pretty scared. I was with these new people for about a week, then they took me to a really scary place with lots of barking dogs and really nice people (Elmbrook Humane Society). The head lady at the shelter (who I will come to know as Auntie Michelle) called who is now my mom and asked her if she could take me for a week, because I needed to grow up a little. For me, when I saw my Mom, it was love at first site. I knew that I would never leave her and I never have. She asks me when I am going home...doesn't she know I am already home? Can someone tell her that, because she isn't listening to me. Women...sheesh.

I have lots of stories to tell and because I just started blogging (though I am not quiet sure what blogging is??? Is that like barking???) I will have to think back and tell some stories from when I was a puppy.

Woof Woof.
Ollie