Its gotta end...

Mom has to do some thing about Lavy and she needs to do it NOW!

This morning mom took Lavy and I out for the usual potty stop before our days in the jail cells crates. We ran around a little bit, and then I had to stop and take a poo. All of the sudden, Lavy runs up, grabs my leash and tries to drag me away…I wasn’t even FINISHED yet. Mom was laughing so hard, she was crying. A lot of help she is!

I mean COME ONE…I can’t even POOP in peace???? Sheesh!!!! Do you need anymore proof that girls are stupid???? I think not.

When we go out when mom gets home at the end of the day mom gives us tennis balls to play with. I get the yellow one, Lav gets the red one. Easy to remember, right? APPARENTLY NOT! Lavy ALWAYS tries to steal my ball…it’s MY ball. Does mom do anything about it????? NOOOOOO!!!! More examples of how girls are stupid, Mom not included.

I may have to pack up my things and move to California to be with my Grandparents and Auntie. I know that they would treat me much better never torment me.

I am going to go plot my escape trip from this hell hole wonderful place to California…do you think I will like it there?

Woof. Woof.

Ollie the Vagabond.

Weekend catch ups....

Mom took Lavender and I to the Elmbrook Humane Society Wag Walk. That’s were both of us came from. Mom was hoping to get an application on Lavender, but no such luck.

We talked to a pet psychic. She didn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know. She said that Lavy is not sure if she is staying or not because mom won’t make up her mind. She also said that Lavy is really forward and brave. All very very true statements.

She even talked about me. She said that I am very silly and love attention. She said that I love to be with mom and can’t stand for her to be out of my site when we are at events. Also very true statements.

I was in a couple of contests. The first one was the tallest dog. Which I had BY A MILE…but they gave it to a different dog because he was fatter…SO not fair. However, I did win the best trick contest. I made “deals” with mom. Instead of giving paw, I make “deals”. If mom wants my left paw she says “Make a Deal”, if she wants my right paw she says “seal the deal” and if she wants both paws she says “Double the deal”. I also took a bow. Apparently it was all very good and cute, because I won. I got a great big treat that mom has not let me have yet.

My friend Riley was at the event too. Mom trains his people how to be good dog parents. For some reason they really like mom, I just can’t figure out why. It was fun to see Riley out of work…we had a nice chat.

Mom took us swimming in the lake afterwards to cool off, that was loads of fun. Though Lavy bit my tennis ball in half and it sunk. OF COURSE she didn’t wreck HERS, only mine! Why do girls have to be so mean??? Seriously!!!

Lavy and I were both really tired after the event and slept the afternoon away with mom, but then she made us go back out to a street fair. It was too crowded so we went to a doggy event, but it was over by the time we got there. That was okay…I was tired of walking any ways.

On another note…I am back in a crate today and I am NOT happy about it. But I got myself in trouble because the cops came and talked to mom Sunday morning. It seems I was barking talking too loudly on Monday morning. Someone had to call and tell on me…that is NOT very nice at all. That’s okay because my neighbor dog got in trouble too!!! At least mom only got a warning this time. She seems to think that if I am in my crate I won’t want to bark as much…I guess I should just be a good dog and keep my yap SHUT!

I am going to read the newspaper now.

Woof. Woof.

Ollie Pants

Random...

Mom has kept me so busy the last couple of days that I haven’t had time to blog. She doesn’t give me a moments rest. Women.

It has also been raining here like it is Seattle, though I have never been to Seattle, but that’s what I have been told. It was sunny yesterday though, which was good because I was getting depressed from all the rain. The depression was causing me to destroy things in the house and that makes mom sad.

I heard mom tell Auntie Michelle that she wants to pick up a crate from the shelter this weekend. I think she is going to put me back in a house. I will be ready with my lock picking kit and digging implements should this happen. I have had a taste of freedom; I CAN NOT be JAILED again. Do you know what that will do to me???

We are going to the Elmbrook Humane Society Wag Walk tomorrow. I believe that I am going to be forced to work. Isn’t that considered slave labor or something???? I think mom should be turned into work force development. Wait…that may be bad, because then I would have to go into foster care and I would be an indigent child…never know what kind of home you will end up in. I could end up like poor abused neglected Lavy (yes, she is still here, I don’t want to talk about it).

Ooh, while we are on the subject of Lavy. Do you know that when we go to work with mom, she makes us SHARE a CRATE! Not only AT work, BUT in the CAR (did you know that mom makes me ride in a crate in the car now???? Oooh, you don’t…see more ABUSE!)!!!!!!!! ABUSE!!!! ABUSE!!!! I know for a FACT that work (Petco) has more crates, mom already uses one, I am SURE they would let her use another one. I have no IDEA why she must subject me to such torture.

Ahh….blogs are so healing…I feel so much better.

Off to find something of my mean mothers to destroy.

Woof. Woof.

Ollie the Destructo dog xo

Loose

I don’t know if I should blog about this or not, because mom may not realize what she is doing and if she reads my blog…I may rat myself out.

Okay, I will tell you….but you have to promise to not let mom see, okay???

I have been LOOSE for the past two days!!!! Meaning that mom hasn’t put me in my crate AT ALL! In fact, my crate isn’t even in the house anymore…it’s in the truck.

I am not sure if I like being out of my crate or not. I was pretty nervous yesterday, not sure what I should do with myself. I walked around. Watched some TV, surfed the internet, tore up a paper cup and napped. The only nice thing is that I can stretch out and nap where I want to now. My crate was getting pretty cramped because I am so big. Mom needs to get me a bigger one, but she says the money tree has died in the back yard.

The first time mom left me out of my crate a few weeks ago, it was only for a few minutes and my crate was still in the house. When she left I wasn’t sure what to do with myself AND I was afraid that I would get in trouble…so I just went and lay down in my crate. I wouldn’t even go out of the crate when I heard mom come in. I waited for her to come get me, just like I always do. She LAUGHED at me…can you believe it???? I was just being a good dog. SHEESH! Some people.

I am loose again today. I like it better today…I think I can get used to this. Hopefully she won’t realize her mistake and put me back in my crate, I like to be loose.

Alright…this is just our little secret, right?

PHEW!

Phew! What a weekend.

On Saturday we went to the herding dog trial. I didn’t do the herding instinct test because I am NOT a herding dog. Plus mom figured out pretty quickly that the sheep would have FREAKED me out. Lavy got to go up and watch some of the trail (spoiled bitch (that’s what they call female dogs…just using correct terminology is all)) and she got barky, so she had to come back to the truck with Pony where Willow, Zahra, Ashes and I were waiting.

Mom was going to take me over to watch the novice trail. BOY am I glad she DIDN’T. Turns out that there was no fence between the sheep and the spectators…that would have been SCAREY! With a capital SCARE! I would have been scarred for life. FOR LIFE!

The low point of the trip…having to share a crate with Lavy in the truck…she is a HOG! Sometimes I would lay on her to get her to move. Even that didn’t work most of the time. Stupid girl. Doesn’t she know that she has cooties?

On Sunday we went hiking. Auntie Michelle got us lost…so she is NOT allowed to navigate any more. I got to stand up and drink out of a bubbler like a person, because I am a very smart dog. Mom tried to get a picture, but she wasn’t fast enough. Hiking was fun, but it was 4 hours and I am NOT used to walking that far. My idea of a hike is walking to McDonalds!

I didn’t feel very good on Monday, so I didn’t get to go with Mom, Dad and Tyler (my boy, dads human son) to a walking street fair. Plus I was really tired from the weekend, so I was glad they left me home. It rained on them and that would NOT have made me happy.

I am still recovering…so I have to go rest some more.

Woof. Woof.

Ollie The Indoor Dog

I'm Leaving....in a red explorer....

I am going on my first trip with mom and Auntie Michelle. I am soooo excited. Unfortunately Lavy gets to come along, but I guess it wouldn’t be fair to leave her home with dad.

I don’t know what I should pack. Of course my bowl and food, those are necessities! I think I will bring a couple of bones and a nice soft blankie to lay on. I don’t know what the weather is going to be like, I heard rain, so I better bring my rain jacket and mom better get one for Lav or she is going to be cold and wet (not that I would care).

I wonder if I will need any dress jackets or a top hat. Though I don’t think we are going any where fancy. Just hiking and watching a herding dog trial. Mom says that maybe I will get to try the herding and see if I have any instinct for it. That should be fun, though I am a little afraid of sheep. Plus I don’t think I have a herding bone in my body…chasing and fetching yes, so unless I can bring a sheep back to mom, I don’t think this going to work that well.

We will be gone and without internet until Sunday. I will update as soon as I can and hopefully with pictures. Though, I have to admit Lavy and I ate the cord that lets mom upload pics from the digital camera to the computer. Ooops. It was all Lavy’s idea…she MADE me do it. See, I TOLD you girls were bad news!!!

Time to go sleep while mom packs!

Woof. Woof.

Ollie the great outdoors dog