Random...

Mom has kept me so busy the last couple of days that I haven’t had time to blog. She doesn’t give me a moments rest. Women.

It has also been raining here like it is Seattle, though I have never been to Seattle, but that’s what I have been told. It was sunny yesterday though, which was good because I was getting depressed from all the rain. The depression was causing me to destroy things in the house and that makes mom sad.

I heard mom tell Auntie Michelle that she wants to pick up a crate from the shelter this weekend. I think she is going to put me back in a house. I will be ready with my lock picking kit and digging implements should this happen. I have had a taste of freedom; I CAN NOT be JAILED again. Do you know what that will do to me???

We are going to the Elmbrook Humane Society Wag Walk tomorrow. I believe that I am going to be forced to work. Isn’t that considered slave labor or something???? I think mom should be turned into work force development. Wait…that may be bad, because then I would have to go into foster care and I would be an indigent child…never know what kind of home you will end up in. I could end up like poor abused neglected Lavy (yes, she is still here, I don’t want to talk about it).

Ooh, while we are on the subject of Lavy. Do you know that when we go to work with mom, she makes us SHARE a CRATE! Not only AT work, BUT in the CAR (did you know that mom makes me ride in a crate in the car now???? Oooh, you don’t…see more ABUSE!)!!!!!!!! ABUSE!!!! ABUSE!!!! I know for a FACT that work (Petco) has more crates, mom already uses one, I am SURE they would let her use another one. I have no IDEA why she must subject me to such torture.

Ahh….blogs are so healing…I feel so much better.

Off to find something of my mean mothers to destroy.

Woof. Woof.

Ollie the Destructo dog xo

Loose

I don’t know if I should blog about this or not, because mom may not realize what she is doing and if she reads my blog…I may rat myself out.

Okay, I will tell you….but you have to promise to not let mom see, okay???

I have been LOOSE for the past two days!!!! Meaning that mom hasn’t put me in my crate AT ALL! In fact, my crate isn’t even in the house anymore…it’s in the truck.

I am not sure if I like being out of my crate or not. I was pretty nervous yesterday, not sure what I should do with myself. I walked around. Watched some TV, surfed the internet, tore up a paper cup and napped. The only nice thing is that I can stretch out and nap where I want to now. My crate was getting pretty cramped because I am so big. Mom needs to get me a bigger one, but she says the money tree has died in the back yard.

The first time mom left me out of my crate a few weeks ago, it was only for a few minutes and my crate was still in the house. When she left I wasn’t sure what to do with myself AND I was afraid that I would get in trouble…so I just went and lay down in my crate. I wouldn’t even go out of the crate when I heard mom come in. I waited for her to come get me, just like I always do. She LAUGHED at me…can you believe it???? I was just being a good dog. SHEESH! Some people.

I am loose again today. I like it better today…I think I can get used to this. Hopefully she won’t realize her mistake and put me back in my crate, I like to be loose.

Alright…this is just our little secret, right?

PHEW!

Phew! What a weekend.

On Saturday we went to the herding dog trial. I didn’t do the herding instinct test because I am NOT a herding dog. Plus mom figured out pretty quickly that the sheep would have FREAKED me out. Lavy got to go up and watch some of the trail (spoiled bitch (that’s what they call female dogs…just using correct terminology is all)) and she got barky, so she had to come back to the truck with Pony where Willow, Zahra, Ashes and I were waiting.

Mom was going to take me over to watch the novice trail. BOY am I glad she DIDN’T. Turns out that there was no fence between the sheep and the spectators…that would have been SCAREY! With a capital SCARE! I would have been scarred for life. FOR LIFE!

The low point of the trip…having to share a crate with Lavy in the truck…she is a HOG! Sometimes I would lay on her to get her to move. Even that didn’t work most of the time. Stupid girl. Doesn’t she know that she has cooties?

On Sunday we went hiking. Auntie Michelle got us lost…so she is NOT allowed to navigate any more. I got to stand up and drink out of a bubbler like a person, because I am a very smart dog. Mom tried to get a picture, but she wasn’t fast enough. Hiking was fun, but it was 4 hours and I am NOT used to walking that far. My idea of a hike is walking to McDonalds!

I didn’t feel very good on Monday, so I didn’t get to go with Mom, Dad and Tyler (my boy, dads human son) to a walking street fair. Plus I was really tired from the weekend, so I was glad they left me home. It rained on them and that would NOT have made me happy.

I am still recovering…so I have to go rest some more.

Woof. Woof.

Ollie The Indoor Dog

I'm Leaving....in a red explorer....

I am going on my first trip with mom and Auntie Michelle. I am soooo excited. Unfortunately Lavy gets to come along, but I guess it wouldn’t be fair to leave her home with dad.

I don’t know what I should pack. Of course my bowl and food, those are necessities! I think I will bring a couple of bones and a nice soft blankie to lay on. I don’t know what the weather is going to be like, I heard rain, so I better bring my rain jacket and mom better get one for Lav or she is going to be cold and wet (not that I would care).

I wonder if I will need any dress jackets or a top hat. Though I don’t think we are going any where fancy. Just hiking and watching a herding dog trial. Mom says that maybe I will get to try the herding and see if I have any instinct for it. That should be fun, though I am a little afraid of sheep. Plus I don’t think I have a herding bone in my body…chasing and fetching yes, so unless I can bring a sheep back to mom, I don’t think this going to work that well.

We will be gone and without internet until Sunday. I will update as soon as I can and hopefully with pictures. Though, I have to admit Lavy and I ate the cord that lets mom upload pics from the digital camera to the computer. Ooops. It was all Lavy’s idea…she MADE me do it. See, I TOLD you girls were bad news!!!

Time to go sleep while mom packs!

Woof. Woof.

Ollie the great outdoors dog

Odds N Ends

The question mom gets asked most the about me is “what is he?” Don’t they know I am a dog????

Okay, so they want to know what BREED of dog I am and that is a tricky question. I did that on purpose you know.

Mom says that I am a Great American Boxer. Basically she says that I am a Great Dane (because I am so tall), American Bull Dog (because of my jowels and head shape) and Boxer (because of my coloring and wigglyness) mix. She also says that I have some pit-bull, but we don’t tell many people that because they get scared. However, I am a very good dog.

I personally think mom should tell them that I am a maltese or something like that and see what they say. Just to mess with their heads.

Lavender was supposed to go meet new people tomorrow, but that has fallen through. They would be first time dog owners and Lavy would NOT be good for them. Mom is very experienced and there are days that SHE wants to hang Lavy by her ears.

Did I tell you that I hate that Lav sleeps on the bed with us? Yup. I hate it.

Its also very cold here, in the 60’s. For me that’s COLD!!! I need a fall jacket, I will have to get mom to work on that. She left me OUTSIDE (ooh the indignity of it) in a kennel while she was training last night, I was FREEZING!!!!

Off to go nap.

Woof. Woof.

Ollie Pants

Lies

Remember how I told you that Lavender found a new home? Well, it was all a lie. I am very upset with Mom. Here I was ready to party on Monday, I had the caterers lined up and everything…but NOOOOOO, mom and Auntie Michelle had to go and deny the application just because they gave some dogs away (okay 6…is that a lot?). Don’t they know I lost the deposit??? SHEESH!

Alright, so I agree it wouldn’t be very nice to hop from home to home to home and I know that Lavy is safe here with us….I just want mom to myself again!!! Lavy doesn’t share mom well, except if she is chewing a bone…then I can spend time with mom.

Mom is STILL letting Lavy sleep on the bed with us…someone needs to tell Mom that its MY bed and that little turd should NOT be sleeping with us. Plus girls are stupid, but not mom (at least I don’t tell her and I think she reads my blog, so I don’t want to get into trouble).

I am going away with mom, Auntie Michelle, all her dogs and Lavy this weekend. We are going to go watch herding trials and go hiking. Mom and I aren’t the hiking types…so this should be interesting. I am very excited about watching the herding trials though; I bet I could do it BETTER than any of those other “herding” dogs. But I think I am afraid of sheep. I am DEFINITELY afraid of ducks (sometimes they start new dogs on ducks) because they will peck my eyes out. Hmmmm…maybe I can loose Lavy while we are hiking…I will have to come up with a plan.

I don’t think I have any other news…

Going to go chew on my bone now.

Woof. Woof.
Ollie Pants xo

Catching up...

Phew. It has been a BUSY week for a being a dog. Mom seems to be monoplizing the computer, so I havent had much time to use it. I get impatient with her, but she is my mom so I guess I have to let her use the computer first.

Mom let Lavender sleep on the bed with us the last few days. I suppose its okay, though I dont really like it. I dont like it because it is MY bed...it is the one place that I get to spend AWAY from her...NOW she gets to share the bed....geez, mom is really pushing it!!! I may have to step on mom in her sleep...that will teach her.

We went to the shelter today. I got to spend time with Auntie Michelle's dogs, she has lots of dogs. My favorite is Willow, she is a 6 year old chocolate lab. I like to play with Ashes, but sometimes she gets mad at me and snaps (mean girl!), she is a chocolate lab too. Little Sister and Sirlena dont really play with me, they are australian shepards. Zara keeps Lavender in line, so of COURSE I like her, she is also an australian shepard. Then there is little Pony Boy, he is a border collie pupppy...I like him and he likes me, but he HATES Lavender because she is too pushy...smart boy. Wow, that was hard....I normally dont count that high.

While we were at the shelter, mom took Lavender away and I stayed in Auntie Michelle's office with my friends. Apparently some people came to meet Lavender to see if they want to take her home. They spent a lot of time with mom, Auntie Michelle and Lavender. I guess Lavender is going to a new home on Monday...her forever home, like the one that mom gave me. I am happy for her, but sad for mom. I dont like when mom cries and she is already crying over her leaving. Don't worry, I will take care of her. I promise. Monday is going to be a rough day for every body...even me. Yes, I still think girls are stupid...but she was fun to play with and I will miss Lavy. Mom says that I will get to see her and play with her still because her new parents will take classes with Mom.

I got EMAIL the other day. I LOVE email. Thank you Grandma Dottie and Grandpa Ted. Though I was a little suprised that you included Lavender, after all she is a stupid girl. I tried to make that bomb out of peanut butter, but I got distracted and ate it all. I guess thats what happens when you are a dog. Ooh and Lavender typically protects ME from the bad dogs...because she is so tough. Who knew that girls could be so tough??!!!

I have to go do what I do best now....nap.

Love you!
Woof! Woof!

Ollie caretaker of the Mom

Swimming...

Mom and Dad took Lavender and I swimming today. Not to a lake or a river...but to a PUBLIC POOL!!!! Yes, you read right a POOL! The park systems was having a fundraiser for the off leash dogs parks and your parents could take you swimming for $5 each. So, Mom and Dad took us.

Mom was nervous that there were going to be a lot of people there that were stupid and not understand doggy language...because we all know how well mom speaks it!

Anyway, we get there and mom lets us go. Lavender ran right for the pool and DOVE right in...to the DEEP end. She scared herself a little, but she pulled herself back out and came running over to where mom was talking to a nice lady.

Then she took me over to the pool, but I was afraid to go in, because I didnt know how deep it was. So, mom had to go in with me. She didnt have a swim suit on!!! So her pants and shirt got all wet! Silly, I told her she should have worn a swim suit. She doesnt listen...thinks she knows better. She doesnt.

Once mom was in the pool with me, I was fine....I went swimming with all the other dogs and had to share my tennis balls with a lab...that was okay, I didnt mind.

Lavender was the funniest to watch. She swam around like a little motor boat. Off into the deep end most of the time. Dad kept getting nervous and would call her back....I stayed pretty close to mom, she stayed in the pool with us the whole time.

We had such a good time swimming in the pool...I hope mom remembers to take us next year...because it was a blast.

OOH...and all the dog owners were good...no stupid people. I saw another dog that looked a lot like me. She didnt really like the water, but I told her that it was fun and to relax...I hope my advice helped!!!

Off to bed...

Woof Woof.
Ollie Luganus xo

Ps... sorry that I havent blogged in a while. Mom broke the computer. See...I told you girls were stupid.

More proof that sisters are trouble...

Here is a conversation between Lavender and I....

Mom had put Lavender into a bigger crate, to give her more room....and this is how Lav thanks mom! Nice, REAL nice!



Lavender: PSSSST!!! Ollie come over here and help me break out.
Ollie: NOOO WAY! I am not helping you, cause I will get into trouble.
L: Sissy. I will just do it myself. *plays with crate door*
O: Your going to get into trouble.
L: Nope. She will never know...they are sleeping right.
O: *walks over to mom* I think so. She didn't move when I nuzzled her, but she could be playing possum.
L: I'm FREE! Lets make a run for Ollie it.
O: Nope, I'm sleeping.
L: SISSY! *walks over to mom* *Jumps up and nuzzles at her*
Mom: Ollie quit. Go lay down.
L: *giggles* I did it! It worked!
Mom: *rolls over* HEY! How did you get out.
L: DAMNIT!
Mom: Back in your house you go. Little jail breaker.
L: Awwww MAN! Ollie help!!!!!
O: *sleeping* Cant, sorry.
L: *back in crate, tries door* Aww man, she locked it good this time. Now where did I put that spoon?

See...do you need ANYMORE proof???

Play Time

Yesterday mom and dad took Lavender and I too a big off leash dog park to run and play. Mom makes us walk in on a leash and Lavender has to drag a leash at the park because she doesn't listen very good (another example of how girls are stupid).

I don't like to be on a leash around other dogs and I get a little snappy when I am, but mom says its okay because I am just asking for my space. Other dog parents get mad though and mom has to explain dog behavior. GOOD thing I have taught my mom so well. I know Uncle Elmo helped train her too (I will tell you about him sometime, mom really loved him and I know she misses him).

I had a great time at the park, though I kept trying to steal frisbee's and mom kept yelling at me to "get out of that", but I didn't want too. After a while I did, but I didn't like it.

Lavender was pretty naughty. Mom says she is very forward and doesn't understand when other dogs tell her to back off...instead, she goes back for more. Dumb girl. She got beat up by a rottweiler, he ran her from end of the park to the other. I laughed at her. I just stayed by mom and dad...they are fun to hang out with. Plus it just makes me feel better to keep mom in my line of site. I want to make sure she is behaving...she can be very bad you know.

On another note....

I have decided that I need to do away with Lavender...I am not quite sure how to do it...but I have access to peanut butter and bones, Grandpa Ted, what can I do with that? Anything besides make her a snack??? Ooh, I could poison her...but wait, what if I get it on my paws, I know....I will wear gloves. I am so smart that I surprise even myself.

Ooh to plot my sisters death....

Woof Woof

Ollie the destroyer

Ps. Hi Grandma Dottie!